My past lives

In my 2nd post here (How I get here) I wrote about meditations about visiting our past lives. That one most interesting to me was already described there. Now I would like to talk about other things that I saw on that weekend.

One of the first tasks we had was to find our spiritual guide. Venturing in astral world, especially to your past lives can be dangerous. Its always nice to have someone watching over you. Mine was some small nice gnome, that likes to sit on my left shoulder and whisper wisdom to my ear. Sometimes it was more fun than wisdom and he seems quite cynical at times, but he would never hurt me (at least I hope).

One of the first life I saw in more detail (more than just a few incoherent pictures) was around 1900 in our capital. I was a street girl (yeah, very funny name) and I quite liked it (me looking to that life). I even saw my own death in that particular past life. I was bound on a cross and some customer beat me to death. My spiritual guide commented it "He will like that even better now" (he meant that customer). And I liked it too. Death was very emotional and releasing moment for me (finally I'm done with that!).

My next life was son of a rich man somewhere in a sunny town near the sea. I have not seen much from that life, only my death (strange) and a few moments before that. I was driving fast car directly towards a wall.

My third life in last century is this one. Our guru said to me when we spoke after that meditation, that its very unusual that someone had 3rd life in just one century. Seems that there is not enough souls "out there" to let them rest between lives. Because life is like a punishment for a soul. Or more like a obstacle on a long journey for knowledge.

Last meditation was about seeing our own birth in this particular life. I was like flying high above and selecting some newly forming body as my vessel. I really don't know, why I selected this one (or if it was somehow pre-selected - probably not). It was quite painful experience. That slow process of forgetting all I had known as a soul. My last thought was "it will take long time again to learn how to operate this body!".

Interesting is that soul finds its target body not long before birth. So it seems that Christians that are against abortions or experimenting on fetus are not right. Child before birth is not much more than animal before soul settles in.

How I get here

I was thinking about this one for a long time already. I still don't know how real it was. But judge for yourself. I don't force you to believe in anything, but I try to write it down as best I can.

It happened during my very first group meditation I was on. My roommate at university was quite a bit more spiritual than me and he was talking about incredible things so one weekend I decided to go with him as I had nothing better to do anyway. He was attending quite large and diverse group of people all under one guru. I already forget his name but that doesn't really matter now.

Theme of this particular meetup was 'Your past lives'. We were talking about stuff, then drank some herbal tea guru prepared and then laid down on some ground sheets and sleeping bags (everyone brought his/her own), started relaxing and listening to gurus voice. He was telling us what we should try to imagine. I don't remember it fully, because it took considerable time and it is already quite a few years ago (it was last century!), but here is short version of the first part:

Close your eyes, relax. You are on a sunny meadow. You feel sun shining at your skin, wind blowing gently and playing with your hair. You can feel grass touching your legs. You are slowly going down the hill towards the edge of forest. You feel your legs moving through grass. You hear spring nearby. You feel perfectly safe and in great mood. Birds are singing, trees are swaying in gentle breeze. As you slowly approach the edge of forest, you see spring flowing in front of you and a small bridge across it. You step on the bridge, take hold of railing and look down at your legs. Your legs slowly start to change. Now you can select legs that you like. When you are happy with your selection, you continue onward. As you slowly cross the bridge you descend deeper to your past life...

It continued for some time so we can observe that particular life and get some anchor to it. Anchor is some specific picture or feeling you can focus on to get more easily to more pictures or feelings from that life.

We went this way quite a few times during that weekend. I saw quite a few bodies, quite a few pictures and feelings but I want to talk here about one particular that was more different than the others. When I looked at my legs that time I wanted to go really far to the past. And what I saw quite surprised me. Those legs were not legs of a man, but of some insect! I said to myself that this will be interesting and continued down this twisted path.

I saw quite a lot of images, some more vivid and interesting than others but what I get from it was that served as some kind of inter-stellar explorer. I was flying in some form of a ship that was only a bit larger than my body - cross between grasshopper and praying mantis. I had 1 pairs of legs and 2 pairs of arms. Legs were used to control that ship. Large circular "feet" were forcefully pressed against some form of controls. The more I pressed the faster that ship flies. I could change direction of flight by pressing in different directions. Arms were used only to hold me in place in that ship.

As I get it I was quite praised among my kin. I was even given very rare honor. I was allowed to hunt and kill some form of ritual animal.

My last journey went to some unknown planet, 3rd from some backwater sun somewhere far behind the edge of our colonized space. I was bold, daring and went further than anyone before me. But I failed. I crashed. Crashed hard. Without any means to return home.

And even my souls is now trapped here. Forever?